Coral
Sea Cucumber
Wishing I was dancing with my prince...
Posts: 252
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Post by Coral on Jun 21, 2004 12:58:21 GMT -5
This is just the first part. Eventually it will go up on my website, I just don't know when I'll get around to putting it up as formatting can sometimes be a nightmare, lol.
“Why do fathers have to take so long to make up their minds?”
The young girl who’d spoken shivered slightly, and the young man next to her wrapped his cloak around her and rested his cheek on her silky red hair. “He just wants to make sure he isn’t making a mistake. You are his youngest.”
The girl sighed and let her eyes look down. The couple was sitting on the edge of the dock, watching a storm come in. High tide was rolling in, and the water was lapping at her companion’s toes. “I should think about getting home.”
“Not yet, Ariel. I’m leaving in the morning and won’t get to see you for a few days.”
Ariel reached up and brushed a strand of his jet black hair away from his eyes, then kissed him. “Alright.” She snuggled closer.
The couple sat there, gazing at the storm clouds for several minutes, until they were interrupted by a loud splash. Ariel sighed. “Just a minute, Urchin!” She then turned her gaze upward. “How long will you be gone?”
Eric started to say he’d be back by Saturday, but then caught himself. They used different names for the days of the week, and they hadn’t yet broached that subject. “At least five days. Some sort of trade treaty.”
“Boring?”
“Very.” Eric looked at Ariel, one eyebrow raised. “I’ll be heading west if you get the urge to go exploring or something.
Ariel smiled, and as Eric leaned down to kiss her one more time, there was another splash. This one got them both wet. “I better go before he gets you soaked. I’ll come see you off.”
Eric nodded and stole one last kiss before Ariel dove into the water to chase Urchin down for splashing them. He stood there for several minutes, trying to imagine Ariel swimming home. He finally gave up and turned to go inside. No matter how many times she described it to him, he just couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that there were entire cities and kingdoms on the ocean floor, with thousands of merpeople flitting about carrying on their business and raising families.
He really and truly was trying not to be angry with King Triton. It was a big decision for the man to make. But as each day passed, it was getting harder and harder to hid his growing anger and frustration. He felt as if his entire life was on hold. Eric’s future happiness hinged on the decision of a king who couldn’t quite grasp that a mermaid and a human could be in love.
“Eric! There you are. I was just about convinced that you’d swam off with her.”
Eric saw his housekeeper, Carlotta, hurrying towards him. “I thought about it. Can’t hold my breath that long.”
“You have just enough time to get changed.”
He looked over his shoulder at her as she pushed him towards the stairs. “Changed for what?”
“Besides the fact that you are soaking wet, there is a state dinner starting in 15 minutes.”
“I completely forgot!” Eric then ran up the stairs and straight to his room. This dinner was incredibly important to his kingdom’s economy. He smiled in relief when he entered the room and found his clothes already laid out on the bed. Quickly, he changed into them, knowing Carlotta would appear at any moment with his dress boots.
Just as he did up the last button on his shirt, she appeared with his boots. He smiled gratefully, then sat down to pull them on.
“Would I be correct in assuming that King Triton still has not made a decision?” Carlotta asked gently. In the three short days Ariel had been with them, she had watched the young prince fall head over heels in love with her, even though he hadn’t realized it until it was almost too late.
Eric’s shoulders drooped slightly and he nodded. “I can’t help wondering if he’s doing it on purpose.”
Carlotta patted his shoulder. “I’m sure he isn’t. It’s a big decision.”
“That’s what I keep telling myself.” He stood and pulled on his jacket. “Am I presentable?”
“If you’ll run a comb through your hair.”
Eric did just that, then forced himself to leave the room and go downstairs. He was silently imagining that Ariel was at his side.
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Coral
Sea Cucumber
Wishing I was dancing with my prince...
Posts: 252
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Post by Coral on Jun 21, 2004 12:58:56 GMT -5
At that same moment, Ariel was knocking on the door of her father’s study. “Daddy?”
“Come in, Ariel.”
The girl took a deep breath, then swam into the room. Triton was leaving the next morning for Pacifica, and that was the exact area Eric was going to. She couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing him for five whole days. “I was wondering if you’d like some company on your trip.”
Triton looked up from his desk. “I’d love some company. But won’t you miss seeing him?”
Ariel sighed softly and shook her head. Triton had yet to refer to Eric by his name. He was always “him” or “the human”. “Eric has to leave for a few days.” She emphasized Eric and stared at her father.
Triton flinched inwardly, getting the not-so-subtle hint from his daughter. He was still hoping that one of his daughters would marry Prince Waverly of Pacifica. The only problem was that he only had eyes for Ariel, and she clearly did not return his feelings, and never would. “Is Eric going in the same direction?”
Ariel smiled. He said Eric’s name! “Yes, Daddy, he is.”
“I knew I wasn’t the real reason,” Triton said with a smile. Then he turned serious. “I know that you are both angry with me for taking so long to make this decision.”
Ariel nodded. Eric had been careful to not say anything, but she could see the frustration in his eyes. “Eric’s entire life is on hold, Daddy. Under their laws he cannot be crowned king until he is married. He’s tired of having to fight everyone to do what he knows is best for his people!”
Triton held his hand up. “That is precisely why I am taking my time, Ariel. I have to be convinced that he wants to marry you for love, and not to make things easier for him.”
Ariel swam closer to her father and took his hand. “Daddy, if you would just talk to him, you’d see that it’s for love. Remember that Eric risked his life to save us from Ursula.”
“I haven’t forgotten. When we get back from Pacifica, please arrange a meeting with him.”
Ariel threw her arms around Triton’s neck and hugged him tightly. “Thank you, Daddy!”
The next morning, Ariel rose early, eager to tell Eric the good news. She had gone to the surface the night before to tell him, but when she’d seen the ballroom lit up, she remembered the state dinner and knew it would be well after midnight before he got to bed.
She swam to the cove and let the tide carry her up on the beach. This was the same beach she’d brought him to the night she saved him from drowning, and the same beach where’d he collapsed after killing Ursula. It was also the beach where he had cried when her father refused to let her go to him.
But those thoughts were banished from her mind as she caught sight of Eric coming down the path towards her. When he saw her, he broke into a run, then dropped to his knees in the sand next to her and pulled her into a passionate kiss.
When the two broke apart, Ariel let Eric pull her into his lap and snuggle his face in her hair. “Long night?”
“The longest! Stefan has a daughter my age, and she would not leave me alone. I almost crawled under the table to hide from her!”
Ariel couldn’t hold it back and a giggle escaped her.
“What’s so funny?”
“Just imaging my hero hiding under a table.” She looked up at him and he rolled his eyes at her, then kissed her nose. “I do have some good news though.”
“Your father’s going to appear at any moment and let you come with me?” Eric searched her face expectantly.
“Not that good.”
The cloud of sadness came back into his blue eyes and he sighed.
“Daddy wants to talk to you when you get back.”
“Really?”
Ariel nodded. “Really. But that’s not all. Daddy has to go to Pacifica, and I’m going with him.”
Eric’s eyes lit up. “And that’s where I’m going!” He traced his thumb over Ariel’s cheek. “That is good. When will you get there?”
“Sometime late this evening.”
Eric opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Grimsby calling. “Eric, it is time to leave!”
The couple turned to look at him and Eric raised one hand to acknowledge that he’d heard. “Guess I better go. If I get there tonight, I’ll come down to the beach. If not, I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
Ariel nodded. “You better get there tonight!” She smiled, then threw her arms around Eric’s neck as he stood up. “What are you doing?”
Eric nodded his head towards the open sea. “Tide’s going out.” He walked to the edge of the water, then they kissed one last time. “I love you,” he whispered.
Ariel whispered the words back, then dove beneath the waves. Instead of watching her swim off as he usually would, Eric turned and walked back up the path to where Grimsby was waiting for him. Grimsby could tell by the look on Eric’s face that the sea king still had not made his decision. He squeezed the prince’s should, then hurried him towards the waiting ship.
Ariel waited just out of sight of the dock for the ship to set sail. The king onboard, Stefan, had no idea of Eric’s connection to the undersea kingdoms. Oh how she wished she could go with him! “Maybe next time,” she said softly to herself.
“Maybe next time what?”
Ariel looked down to see Flounder. The little blue and yellow fish had been her closest friend for years, and had been the one to get the statue of Eric for her after his ship had exploded the night of his birthday celebration. “Maybe next time I can go with him.” She turned her attention back to the water just as the ship went by. Eric was standing on the deck and he waved to her as they went past. Ariel blew him a kiss, then slipped beneath the waves as the ship disappeared from view.
“I don’t understand why Daddy is taking so long to make up his mind!”
Flounder darted around a school of minnows. “It hasn’t been that long, Ariel.”
Ariel sighed and tugged on a piece of seaweed as they passed over a bed. “I know.” She twisted it around her fingers, then began tying it in a love knot. Eric had shown her how to do it a few days ago. “I know Daddy wants to make sure I won’t get hurt, but I think Eric’s already proven he’ll do whatever he has to do to protect me.”
“Yeah.” Flounder agreed, remembering that night two months ago. Eric had proven his love for Ariel that night when he’d taken on Ursula, knowing she could kill him in an instant. “He’ll see, Ariel. He does want you to be happy.”
Ariel smiled and hugged her friend. “Thanks, Flounder.” Then they parted ways and Ariel swam back to the palace.
When she entered the courtyard, the conch was being loaded. The princess waved to the guards, then entered the palace. All of the windows were open and the diffused sunlight from the surface was glinting off the walls. Ariel swam to the main salon to tell her sister good-bye.
“I can’t believe you’re voluntarily going to Pacifica, Ariel,” Attina said as they hugged. “You’re just going to break Prince Waverly’s hear again.”
Ariel smiled and laughed. “Maybe.”
“Eric’s there, isn’t he?” Aquata asked gently.
Ariel nodded and accepted her sister’s hug.
“Daddy will come around, Ariel. You’ll see.” Aquata smiled.
“I just wish he would do it soon!”
Arista spoke up then. “Maybe you can talk him into it on the way there.”
Ariel accepted Arista’s hug. “I’ll certainly try!”
Triton entered the room then with some last minute instructions for Aquata. She took her position as future ruler very seriously, and because of that Triton was completely at ease with leaving Aquata in charge of the kingdom. Once he’d finished, he bid his daughters farewell, and he and Ariel settled themselves into the conch for the trip.
Comments, criticism, accolades welcome!
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Post by oogieboogie on Jun 21, 2004 13:18:08 GMT -5
It's very good Coral. You have written a very good story. Keep up the great work.
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Post by LadyHeartilly on Jun 21, 2004 13:18:15 GMT -5
I don't normally read fanfics, but this is excellent!
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Coral
Sea Cucumber
Wishing I was dancing with my prince...
Posts: 252
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Post by Coral on Jun 21, 2004 14:38:15 GMT -5
Thanks! Although I did forget one thing, the "warning".
This is NOT your typical fluffy TLM fan fiction story. I cut my fan fiction teeth in the world of the Hardy Boys, which generally ends up with a great deal of angst and hurt/comfort. I'm also a big fan of mystery, so it's not going to be just a plain story. I'm also a big fan of foreshadowing and suspense. It'll be rather long for a TLM story, and most certainly not sugary sweet and straightforward.
If anybody is actually still reading it now (lol), I hope to have the second part ready to go by the end of the week. There's a chance I'll be going to a family reunion this weekend.
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Post by pocketgirl634 on Jun 21, 2004 14:57:10 GMT -5
wow, that's really good Coral!
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Post by KleineZeemeermin on Jun 22, 2004 4:00:37 GMT -5
great fan fic Coral!!!
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Coral
Sea Cucumber
Wishing I was dancing with my prince...
Posts: 252
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Post by Coral on Jun 22, 2004 6:51:21 GMT -5
Thanks! I do have the next part finished, I just need to get it typed up.
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Post by philip on Jun 22, 2004 7:12:26 GMT -5
::)Great story
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Post by ursulasbrew on Jun 24, 2004 7:02:31 GMT -5
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Post by AntiHero on Jun 24, 2004 15:12:08 GMT -5
I'm very impressed, great job!
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Coral
Sea Cucumber
Wishing I was dancing with my prince...
Posts: 252
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Post by Coral on Jun 27, 2004 11:47:00 GMT -5
Part II- Hoping[/u]
Late that evening, Ariel and Triton arrived in Pacifica. Ariel glanced up towards the surface, wishing Eric’s ship would go overhead, even though she knew it wouldn’t. They had passed under it almost two hours ago. Sea horses made much faster time.
As Triton caught the longing gaze on his daughter’s face, his heart squeezed. Even though Ariel had grown accomplished at hiding it, he knew she was miserable. [/i]Perhaps I’m being too cautious,[/i] Triton thought. He did risk his life to save her.
His thoughts were interrupted by the first trumpet blast heralding their arrival. The king of Atlantica was forced to turn his full attention to the matters at hand.
It took a little longer than Ariel wanted to arrive at the palace. She usually never paid attention to the fanfare surrounding the arrival of visiting dignitaries, but this time she couldn’t help it. The citizens of Pacifica were lined up along the lane to the palace, cheering and calling out greetings. Instead of being impatient, Ariel decided to use the opportunity to practice being queen. She waved and smiled just as she’d seen other queens do.
When the conch stopped at the entrance to the palace, Triton squeezed his daughter’s hand. “Well done, Ariel. You’ll make a fine queen!”
Ariel looked up at him, her blue eyes wide. “Does that mean-“
“King Triton! We welcome you to Pacifica!”
Triton smiled at Ariel, silently promising himself he’d finish this conversation soon. He then turned his full attention to the merman who had greeted them, Prince Waverly. “Thank you.” The two shook hands, and Triton motioned to Ariel. “You remember my daughter, Ariel?”
Waverly took Ariel’s hand. “How could I forget?” he murmured. He then raised her hand to lips and kissed it.
Ariel put on her best diplomatic smile and withdrew her hand as quickly as she could without being rude. “Prince Waverly.” She was not however, able to keep the slight chill from her voice.
A brief look of puzzlement passed over the prince’s face, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come. He motioned for them to follow him. “My father has been detained on another matter, but should be back by tomorrow evening.”
“That is not a problem,” Triton assured him. There was a squeeze on his hand and he knew it was Ariel expressing her happiness at his patience. He squeezed back. They followed Waverly into the receiving room to greet his mother, the queen. After a few minutes of greetings, Ariel and Triton were shown to their rooms to freshen up before dinner.
All through dinner, Ariel found Waverly’s attention directed solely at her. The only thing that got Ariel through the meal was the knowledge that Eric was suffering through the exact same thing.
About halfway through dinner, a shadow passed over the palace. Ariel smiled to herself, knowing it was Eric finally arriving. She would get to see him tonight after all! Then she noticed the fierce frown on Waverly’s face. “Is something the matter?” she asked.
“The humans have increased their fishing. One of the schoolchildren was caught in a net this morning and couldn’t get out. Her parents are hysterical.”
Ariel looked at Triton, silently begging him to let her go to the surface as soon as possible. Eric could get this girl freed if Ariel could get to him in time. Triton nodded ever so slightly, knowing was she was thinking and hoping it was true.
“How old is she?” Triton asked.
“Eight. Her name is Lyra and she is my cousin.”
Queen Mara reached over and patted her son’s hand. “The entire kingdom is quite upset. We have no idea what they will do to her.” Then the queen skillfully steered the conversation in another direction.
Ariel barely made it through the rest of the meal, then rushed to the surface as soon a she was able. She would never have imagined that Eric already knew of the captive mermaid.
Eric watched the hustle and bustle around him as the ship made port. He was more than anxious to get this over with and see what Triton had to say. But he also knew he had to be patient. If he rushed this treaty, it could spell economic disaster for both kingdoms.
Finally the gangplank was lowered. King Stefan and his daughter, Anna, dis-embarked first, followed by Eric and Grimsby. Eric kept a tight hold on Max’s leash as they walked to the waiting carriage. The dog would just as soon run off and explore the docks as stay close to his master.
There was very little conversation as they went up the hill to the castle. Eric looking out the windows hoping to catch any glimpse he could of the surrounding countryside. He had only been here once before, as a small child accompanying his father. The night was quickly closing in though, so his looking was in vain.
The carriage rolled to a stop a few minutes later and a coachman crisply pulled the door and gave a low bow. As soon as King Stefan stepped out, a young man rushed up to him and whispered in his ear for a moment. The king’s eyes widened briefly, then he turned to Eric. “Have you heard the legends about merpeople?”
Eric was sure his heart skipped a beat. “Of course. Who hasn’t?”
“My son tells me that one was caught alive today. Would you care to inspect it with me and see if it’s for real?”
A knot of dread settled deep in Eric’s stomach. He managed a nod and followed the two men through the foyer of the castle and out into the rear courtyards. Please don’t let it be Ariel! he begged silently.
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Coral
Sea Cucumber
Wishing I was dancing with my prince...
Posts: 252
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Post by Coral on Jun 27, 2004 11:48:37 GMT -5
As they rounded the corner of a hedge, Eric caught sight of a tank filled with water. And the young mermaid inside had blonde hair. Eric relaxed.
Stefan stopped several feet from the tank and walked around it. The mermaid inside followed him, a defiant look on her young face.
“What should we do with it, Father?” Daniel asked.
Eric could not stay silent a moment longer. “She is not an “it”. She’s a little girl.” He stepped a little closer and the mermaid cocked her head and swam as close to the glass as she could. “Why don’t you just let her go?” he suggested.
“Whatever for?”
Eric turned his attention to the young man. How would you like it if someone locked you in a cage and stared at you all day? She’s just a child and her family is probably worried sick about her.”
“How do you know she even has a family?” Daniel shot back.
“How do you know she doesn’t?” Eric countered. “And for that matter, how do you know she isn’t royalty? You have no guarantees that they wouldn’t start a war to get her back.”
“I think we can wait till the morning to decide what to do,” Stefan interjected. “Dinner will be served in an hour.” He looked at Eric.
“I’ll be in shortly. I’d like to walk around a bit and look around.”
The king nodded, then he and his son went back inside the castle.
“Eric, be careful with what you say about the merpeople,” Grimsby advised. “You know things that many people do not.”
“We are not leaving here until she is back in the sea where she belongs.”
“Just do it carefully.”
As Grimsby returned to the castle, Eric turned his attention back to the young mermaid and walked up next to the glass. The tank wasn’t very big, only about 5 feet tall, and maybe 8 feet square. He could easily get her out if it came to that.
“Are you going to make them let me go?” she asked.
Eric nodded. “You will get to go home. I promise.”
The mermaid lost her defiant look and sank to the bottom. “Do you really mean that?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Why?” she asked, staring up at him.
Eric sat down on the grass so he could look straight at her. “Because a mermaid saved my life. We’re going to get married.”
The girl’s eyes got big as saucers. “Are you Princess Ariel’s human?”
Eric couldn’t help laughing. “Yes, I am.”
“Wow! I never thought I’d get to meet you. I’m Lyra. Wait till I tell Waverly he doesn’t stand a chance! I’d pick you too.”
Eric smiled. Then he turned his head towards the sea as a soft melody filled the night air. He stood. “That’s Ariel. I’ll tell her where you are, and we’ll figure out a way to get you home.”
Lyra nodded and watched him go.
Eric broke into a run as soon as he found the path to the beach. He lost his footing halfway down and ended up sliding most of the way down the slope and filling his boots with sand. He heard the light sound of Ariel’s laughter on the still night air and smiled to himself. “Just wait till you get sand in your shoes for the first time. Then you won’t laugh.”
“Why ever not?”
“Because it is the most annoying sensation in the world.” He sat down next to her and pulled his boots off to shake out the sand.
Ariel watched him while he shook the boots out, still in awe of the little things humans referred to as toes. She had discovered quite by accident one evening that Eric’s feet were extremely ticklish. Her tail had brushed up against his bare foot, and he’s broken into a fit of giggles and pulled his feet away once he’d figured out what was happening.
“A young mermaid was captured this morning,” she said.
“I know.” Eric stuck his hand down in his boot to feel for sand. “She’s right up there.” He pointed with his free hand. “Is she royalty?”
Ariel nodded. “The king’s niece. They’re very upset.”
“That’s what I was afraid of. They seem to think she belongs in a carnival.”
Ariel gasped. “That can’t happen!”
Eric pulled his hand out of his shoe, set it down, and looked at his love. “I won’t let that happen. She wil[u/]l go home, even if I have to carry her myself.” He placed a hand on her cheek. “The only thing I want more than you, is for our people to respect each other. I want my home and your home to be comfortable with the other and accept it as something close to normal. That can’t happen if there are mermaids in carnivals.”
Ariel wrapped her arms around Eric and kissed him. “I love you. Would you tell Daddy that?”
“First chance I get. I’d tell him the moon is made of cheese if that would allow us to be together.”
The couple sat quietly for a little while, snuggled together and watching the moon rise. When they parted, it was with a promise of love and plans to meet again the next evening.
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Post by LadyHeartilly on Jun 27, 2004 12:18:37 GMT -5
*sniff* This is so good!
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Post by oogieboogie on Jun 27, 2004 12:55:27 GMT -5
WOW!!!!! Rachel that is so good. I can't wait to read more.
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Coral
Sea Cucumber
Wishing I was dancing with my prince...
Posts: 252
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Post by Coral on Jun 27, 2004 15:35:21 GMT -5
I'm so glad everybody likes it! This is the first time I've ever written anything that isn't a mystery from the get-go.
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Post by Aribeautiful on Jun 29, 2004 19:48:24 GMT -5
it's great coral.i couldn't stop reading ::)i can hardly wait for the next part
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Post by AntiHero on Jun 30, 2004 17:09:59 GMT -5
I've read some stinky fan-fiction in my time, and this is definately good stuff. Can't wait for more!
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Post by KleineZeemeermin on Jul 1, 2004 6:22:46 GMT -5
I love it! Great story, can't wait to read more
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Post by Umi on Jul 1, 2004 17:28:57 GMT -5
One word- Wow.
I never read fan fiction, but this one is GREAT. I LOVE it.
Umi
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