|
|
Post by ariel7angel on May 21, 2007 16:09:58 GMT -5
Continue - it sounds good so far!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by ariel7angel on May 22, 2007 9:40:43 GMT -5
Is Olivana supposed to be URsula's mom - that is cool, wow keep going!!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by ariel7angel on May 23, 2007 11:37:05 GMT -5
Its ok, i dont know if i like the part about Triton being Ursula's brother - but that is just me - i just think how can a merman and an octopus be related!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by ariel7angel on May 23, 2007 14:56:20 GMT -5
Thats not me thats the movie.. if you have the special edition DVD then u should check out the DeletedScenes cause they deleted the very beginning when they were going to tell about Triton and Ursula.. i didnt make that part up... I know about that i have watched all that stuff - but i still dont like it, i know you got it from there, i just think they should never have said that because it doesnt go with everything else in the movie - and with all the other verisons of TLM!!!! |
|
|
|
Post by Random Prince on May 23, 2007 15:29:55 GMT -5
Ursula being Triton's sister was just an idea that got abandoned. I'm glad it was, although I'm sure your story will be interesting if you're going to explore that. One thing, I have to admit I only scanned through (I'll have time to read it properly soon) but I thought I saw something about Urchin's parents. I thought Urchin had been an orphan for most of his life.
|
|
|
|
Post by ariel7angel on May 23, 2007 16:11:39 GMT -5
but I thought I saw something about Urchin's parents. I thought Urchin had been an orphan for most of his life. That is what i thought too..... |
|
|
|
Post by ariel7angel on May 23, 2007 18:07:56 GMT -5
NO dont delete it, that is what writing is all about - learning new stuff - i think you should go on!!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by Jazzy on May 23, 2007 20:45:26 GMT -5
:-*no..im not a good writer i just kinda thought it would be cool to write about Ursula & Morganas mom but its fine.. No, reason to get all down on yourself. People we're just asking questions. Keep writing the more you do the better you get!  |
|
|
|
Post by Random Prince on May 24, 2007 4:11:30 GMT -5
Thnaaw, I don't think you should give up. It doesn't have to be perfect and it's good to be creative!
|
|
|
|
Post by xoxarielxox on Jun 4, 2007 15:04:20 GMT -5
Ch. 1. The Storm
Ariel came above the water her hair loose in her face, "Flounder, follow me," She said swimming under a dock, she heard people talking and walking just above their heads, on the dock. Flounder was shaking in his fins with fear, "Don't be a guppy!" She whispered.
"I'm NOT a guppy!" He whispered back shaking even more.
Ariel put her hand to her mouth to tell him to be quiet, eventually the people left, she dared to take a peak above the deck, but before she could lift her head above the deck the waves started to rock her, a storm arose, "DADDY!" She said, Flounder understood, King Triton was using the ocean to bring Ariel back below the surface. A whirlpool formed next to them the grip was too strong for Flounder and Ariel to break free.
"Whoa! Strong Wind a flowing!" Ariel heard Scuttle shout before she was completely immersed in water.
"ARIEL! If i have told you once I Have told you a million times! NEVER ARE YOU TOO GO ABOVE THE SURFACE! Barbarians! Humans could have spotted you! WHAT AM I TO DO WITH YOU?" Triton blasted.
"Daddy, I'm Sorry I Just-"
"NO! Go to your room!" Triton replied not giving her a chance to answer. She left crying, Flounder followed, "NO, Flounder she is forbidden to see any fish in this sea until she learns how to OBEY orders."
Flounder stopped, "But-" He saw the look on King Tritons face, it was best not to disobey.
-------
"Why can't he listen?" Ariel said to herself then she started to sing..
“He never hears me
Although he has ears he
Refuses to understand
He nearly sees me
He doesn't believe he
Can let me be who I am
What am I to do?
There's so much of him in me
He may tie the ropes
But he can't hold my hopes
That someday
I’ll break away
And I’ll ride, just me
To the edge of the edge of the sea
To be free from his undertow
But how I don't know” (song credit to Disney)
"Ariel!" Flounder whispered, Ariel turned around.
"FLOUDER!" Ariel smiled, "How?-"
"Easy, I'll show you!" He said excitedly he swam to the very bottom of the palace.
Ch. 2. Olivana
Ariel looked around it was pitch black, "Uh.. Flounder?"
"It's a tunnel! It leads past the guards into the palace!"
"Wow, meaning-" Ariel was cut off.
"We can go on more adventures!" Flounder finished.
"But Daddy.." She paused.
"He won't know! Come on Ariel your such a guppy!" Flounder joked.
Ariel shook her head, "ME!!?? No!" She laughed, "Alright where to captain Flounder. He started shaking again.
"No Way! You lead the way I'll bring us in a sharks lair! or WORSE!" He shivered just thinking about it.
----------------
Ariel led them to an empty cave, “Come on!" She said but even she was shaking wondering what was inside.
"Hey Guys!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Ariel and Flounder yelled, Flounder jumping into Ariels‘ arms.
"URCHIN!" Ariel and Flounder said in unison.
"Hey Guys! Whatcha doing?" Urchin answered surprised at their reaction, “You’re not going in that cave are you?"
"Why?" Ariel asked tilting her head.
"That’s Olivana's lair!" Urchin said.
"Who's Olivana?" Flounder questioned.
"It's the EVIL sea witch, yeah she also has two daughters in there!"
"Huh?" Ariel managed.
"You don't know!?" He replied, "Let's just say she's EVIL and she has magic and uh.. trust me she's a terror to Atlantica!"
Ariel and Flounder looked at each other with worried faces.
Ch. 3. Urchin
"Come on Ariel, this wasn't a good idea," Flounder said unable to stay still he was so scared.
"I'll cover you just go!" Urchin replied.
"Cover us from what?" Flounder asked but Ariel had pulled him away too quick to answer.
When Ariel and Flounder where far far away from the cave Ariel spoke, “If Urchin's right and she has magic powers than she'd know where we are and who we are!" Ariel managed before heading towards the village.
"Where are we going?"
"To Urchin's Foster parents house they are the ones who could tell us about Olivana."
--------------------------
Mrs. Fishher answered the door.
"Mrs. Fishher? Can you tell us about Olivana?" Ariel asked. She invited Ariel and Flounder in and shut the door.
"SHHH!! and yes in fact I can, She has two daughters of whom are to be evil sea witches as well, their names are Ursula and Morgana, these three witches are a very big threat to Atlantica,” Ariel interrupted, “Who’s the father?” Miss. Fishher continued ignoring Ariel’s question, “They used to live in the palace as advisors to the king, but Olivana’s hatred and yearning for power forced the King to remove her from the palace for good, she became evil and has spread terror through Atlantica. To answer your question no one knows who the father is, frankly nobody wants to know.“ Then a trumpet sounded interrupting Miss. Fishher “A BOY HAS BEEN TAKEN INTO THE SEA WITCHES CAVE! STAY IN YOUR HOMES! THE BOY… THE BOY IS NAMED URCHIN!”
|
|
Daniel 
