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Post by Aquisha on Jun 4, 2006 20:36:08 GMT -5
Well, guys, this is a fanfic I’ve been meaning to put to paper. I am completely open to comments so please feel to talk to me. I’ve posted a fanfic on another website but never really got any feedback, so I’d really appreciate hearing from people. The story starts off about five months after the action in the movie. Ariel has been living with Eric in the castle, but they’re not engaged or anything. They’re in a more-than-friends/dating area. That’s all the back-story. Hopefully, it won’t take long to get more posted. Thanks for your time guys!- Aquisha Ariel couldn’t sleep. The rocking of the ship on the water wasn’t something she was completely acclimated to. Walking the deck had proven to be almost as trying as walking on new legs. Eric couldn’t look away for more than five minutes before a change in the wind brought a shift in the ship’s angle, throwing Ariel straight into his arms. But, with Ariel being a quick learner, by the end of her first day, she had bested a few of the sailors in footraces along the deck. However, sleep, unlike her sea legs, wasn’t coming to Ariel in any hurry. Apparently, slumber wasn’t as easily found on top of the waves as below them. She was just contemplating going topside when there was a knock at her door. Instantly, a smile crossed her lips. I was hoping he’d be on watch, Ariel thought as she jumped out of bed, donning her robe and slippers. Taking up her candle, she opened the door. “I thought you’d be awake,” Eric said, looking a little tired, but completely happy to be standing outside Ariel’s door. Suddenly, a thought struck him that drained all the emotion from his face. “You were awake weren’t you?” he asked with touching concern. Ariel just giggled. “Yes Eric, I was awake. I still haven’t been able to get a good night’s sleep on this ship.” “Well, the best thing for a restless night at sea is a good cup of tea,” he said, handing Ariel a warm cup of Earl Grey. “And walk around the deck. Sound good?” Ariel sighed deeply, smiled, and answered in a grateful, “Yes.”
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Post by dreamer on Jun 4, 2006 21:31:12 GMT -5
Love the story. It's a great start and looks like it's going to be a great read. Please continue with the next part soon! CAN'T WAIT TO READ IT!!!!!!!!
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Post by Aquisha on Jun 6, 2006 12:19:44 GMT -5
Sorry I didn’t post this part until today, but if anyone’s confused, here’s a little background: The story starts off about five months after the action in the movie. Ariel has been living with Eric in the castle, but they’re not engaged or anything. They’re in a more-than-friends/dating area. That’s all the back-story.
P.S. Thanks dreamer! I really appreciate it! Hope you like this part too. ****************************************************
After a quick change into a simple blue and white dress, Ariel joined Eric on the deck.
The October air was surprisingly warm as Ariel reached the top of the stairs. Looking around, two things struck her as unusual. First, in contrast to the fervor that spilled onto the deck in the day, only a few drowsy sailors kept stationary watch about the ship tonight. Second, she noticed that she could clearly make out every feature of the sailors that were on board; the deck was almost aglow with light. Ariel instinctually looked up. The moon was a complete circle. Reflected off the water’s surface, it bathed the ship in an otherworldly bluish light.
“It’s good to see the moon’s out tonight,” Eric said. Ariel fought back a shiver, hearing him comment on the exact thing she was thinking about. “Sometimes being in the middle of the ocean, especially at night, you feel like you’re completely alone. Then the moon comes out, and it’s like seeing a familiar face.”
He turned to Ariel and smiled. There’s something different about him out here, she thought. I just don’t know what. She took a sip of her tea, which was delicious (as Earl Grey always is), and followed Eric down the deck toward the helm.
“Good evening Capt. Sayers,” Ariel said to the man at the helm.
“Good evening Miss. Ariel,” replied the Captain. Sayers was a large man, not exactly portly, just large. Despite his occasionally frightening ability to strike the fear of the supernatural into grown men, Ariel had come to find Capt. Sayers a kind and accommodating man. But for Ariel, honestly, who wouldn’t be?
“Isn’t it a bit late for tours of the ship lad?” he asked, putting the blame of Ariel’s presence squarely on Eric. Before he could defend himself, Ariel jumped in.
“Actually, Captain, I couldn’t sleep. I found Eric and asked if he would mind it very much if I walked with him on watch.” Ariel didn’t even give up a smile while telling her little fib. Eric, knowing the elusion of trouble was Ariel’s specialty, just watched admiring her skills. “That is, if it’s alright with you.”
“Well, if this one’s looking after you,” he said, giving Eric a playful punch on the shoulder, “than it’s alright by me. But if Sir Grimsby finds you, it ain’t my fault. You just be remembering that!” he added with a smile.
“We will. Thank you Captain,” Ariel said, as she grabbed Eric’s hand and quickly walked further down the deck. ****************************************************
“And that’s Orion. Do you see it?”
Ariel strained to arrange the stars into a brave and fearless hunter but…
“Eric, I can’t.”
Eric looked at her with all the patience in the world. He placed his hand under her chin and tilted her head to the sky. “With constellations you can look straight at one and never see it. It’s true, you have to look with your eyes, but they can only see so much. There’s a lot more to them than the stars that make them up.”
Ariel took in what Eric said and closed her eyes. When she opened them, her eyes shot straight to the line of three stars that make up Orion’s belt. Then up to the two stars that make his shoulders, then to the two below that make his knees. Suddenly she could see it. There he was, Orion, right where Eric had said.
“You can see him can’t you?”
“How did you do that?” she asked, still gazing at the stars.
“I didn’t do anything. Those stars have been up there a lot longer than you or me. You just happened to see them now.”
Ariel looked at him. “You really love being on a ship don’t you? ” she asked smiling. “I mean, you’ve taught me plenty of things before, but nothing like this.”
Eric paused and thought before he answered. Then he turned and leaned on the bow. “I do love it. As long as I’m standing on this deck, I’m not a prince, there aren’t edicts waiting for me to sign, and there aren’t princesses requesting my presence at dinner,” he said with a laugh. “I had to grow up fast when my father died, and after that I felt like I just got lost in a sea of duty and responsibility. But I always had a ship, and that was the one place where I could forget everything and just be myself.”
“I know exactly what you mean.” Ariel had realized that she was just staring at him, listening to him describe the feelings that had led to her secret grotto. “After a while you worry that you won’t find anyone who could understand you or actually like the way you really are,” she said, staring into space. Unbeknownst to her, Eric’s brow was furrowed in thought.
Unknowingly, Ariel had landed on the feeling that had been nagging at Eric for the last year. He hadn’t even told Grim about it. In fact, he had tried to play it off on his birthday. Now his words of feigned confidence came back to him with full force: “She’s out there, somewhere…I just haven’t found her yet…Believe me, Grim, when I find her I’ll know.” In truth, Eric hadn’t been sure that he believed that when he said it. Now, in the middle of both the night and the ocean, he couldn’t have been more certain about anything else in his entire life.
“Ariel.”
It was all he could say as he realized that he was just staring at her.
“Yes?”
There was a brief pause as something passed between the two teenagers. Before they could start to understand it enough to put it into words….
“What on earth are you doing out of your quarters young lady!?”
Grimsby, in his robe and nightcap, was storming right towards them.
“Grim, listen it’s my…,” Eric started but Grimsby would hear none of it.
“It is late and this is no way for a Prince or Princess to behave. Ariel, come with me. You are going straight to your room.”
With just a parting glance Ariel was escorted back to her quarters, leaving Eric alone with his thoughts, which were plenty company.
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Post by WickedElphie on Jun 6, 2006 19:21:33 GMT -5
Absolutly adorable! Props on your characterization, and the overall quality. I can't wait to see where this story goes!
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Post by dreamer on Jun 6, 2006 21:58:48 GMT -5
LOVE It!!!! PLEASE CONTINUE!!!!!! you have great talent as a writer!
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Post by Aquisha on Jun 9, 2006 15:58:14 GMT -5
Thanks you guys for the comments! I'm ecstatic to hear that you are enjoying it. I'm at the point now where I know where I want to go with the story I just need to find a good way of getting it there. Hopefully within the next couple of days I can get more up. To anyone who's just reading it, once again, please feel free to comment, good or bad. Thanks again guys!
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Post by dreamer on Jun 9, 2006 22:09:24 GMT -5
I'm glad to hear that you know where you want this to go. As a writer myself, I know how good that feels! Can't wait to read it!!!!
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Post by Aquisha on Jun 10, 2006 9:58:21 GMT -5
Hey guys, here’s a little bit more. I’m thinking that this will be rather long so hang in there with me! I have a show this weekend, so I don’t know how much I’ll be able to write so I won’t promise anything. Thanks for your time, and enjoy! As she awoke, Ariel instantly felt both joy and sadness. Not only had she finally gotten a complete and restful night’s sleep, but also she had realized beyond any doubt that she and Eric were a perfect match. The more she thought about it the more she realized that she had always felt something deep for Eric. But, before last night, she could never really articulate why she felt that way. Now it’s almost like we were connected, even when we felt like we were all alone, she thought. That’s why I feel so right when I’m with him! With the sun rising over the water, she was sad to see that the night had passed. Now it would become just another memory, albeit a great one. She was just slipping on her shoes when someone knocked on her door. She half tripped over a rug scurrying toward the sound. Sure that it was Eric, she gave her outfit the once-over before she pulled on the iron latch. And there he stood…Grimsby. “Good morning Ariel,” he said. Ariel loved Grim to death, but this was the second time in a matter of hours that he had made her heart sink. “Good morning Grimsby,” Ariel said, mustering up a smile. “I wanted you to know that we’ve docked in Greysmith. Eric has gone ahead into town but he told me to tell you that he will be back within the hour to escort you to the castle. Would you like breakfast between now and the time he arrives?” “Yes Grimsby, that would be great, thanks.” With that Grimsby nodded and walked down the hall. Ariel turned and closed the door. The entire morning, she hadn’t even noticed that the ship had docked at all. In fact she had almost forgotten the entire reason for going to Greysmith. Eric had been invited to the birthday masque of his god brother, Ethan. Since Eric holding his last birthday on a ship had made it impossible for Ethan to attend, the latter had decided to throw a belated birthday masque in celebration of both his and Eric’s birthdays. All of Eric’s friends, whom Ariel was dying to meet, would be there and the only way of getting to Greysmith was by ship. These two facts made this trip very convenient as Ariel could meet Eric’s friends and take her first sea voyage at the same time. Ariel ate her breakfast quickly; too quickly actually. She didn’t want to be in the middle of an omelet when Eric came for her. But as it turned out, that wouldn’t be a problem. It was taking longer than expected for Eric to come back to the ship to get her. This was of course horrible for Ariel, since after last night the only thing she wanted to do was see Eric again. She had been waiting on the deck for about a half an hour, just pacing back and forth, looking out for any sign of a carriage. “Beggin’ your pardon, Miss. Ariel.” Ariel turned on her heels to face Capt. Sayers. “I think there’s someone else on board who’s just as anxious as you are.” He pointed the hyperactive mound of gray and white fur that could only be Max. “Maybe, ifn’ you don’t mind, you could take him for a walk about the beaches with you. Might do you both some good.” Ariel exhaled into a smile. A walk with Max, especially along the beach would be nice. “Thank you Captain. That does sound like a good idea.” With that, she turned in the direction of the barking. “Max! Here boy!” There was never a time when Max wasn’t happy to see Ariel. From the first day he licked her, he could tell, even when no one else could, that she was special. Plus, she always let him share her bed, which to a dog means the entire world. He bounded up to Ariel, put up no fight whatsoever as she put on his leash, and led the way down the gangplank to the beach. Even though Ariel felt that no piece of land would ever match the beauty of Eric’s little kingdom, she was finding that Greysmith was a very close second. It had a large palace on a hilltop overlooking the town below. Instead of being surrounded by mountains, forests cradled the kingdom. This gave it the feeling of being almost magical, like any number of mythical beings could come out of those trees. Ariel fell in love with it instantly. Turning to the beaches, Ariel noticed that the water was a lighter shade of blue than it was on Eric’s beaches. And it was so clear! You could see straight down into the water and watch all the happenings in every tide pool. Yes, Ariel liked this place, and soon she could only think of playing with Max and enjoying the sunshine.
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Post by WickedElphie on Jun 12, 2006 16:39:10 GMT -5
Nice continuation. Can't wait to see what's next.
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Post by Aquisha on Jun 18, 2006 20:45:15 GMT -5
Sorry this part has taken a while; there was a show and a week of work. Plus, this part was really a struggle to write until the very last part. Hope it’s satisfactory. Thanks guys! ****************************************************
It had always been an impressive sight to see Eric and Ethan sitting next to each other. They were about the same height, and the same build. But whereas Eric had dark hair and light eyes, Ethan was just dark. His eyes were a light shade of brown, and his brown hair, which was long compared to Eric’s, fell around his face, and stopped at the nape of his neck. Actually, neither of them had changed very much from their days at school, even though two years had passed. They hadn’t seen each other very much in that time, so there was a lot catching up to do. But for some reason, starting a simple exchange of brotherly chitchat was turning out to be a lot harder than expected.
Ethan had cleared his throat three times and still nothing. His “subtle” attempt to get Eric’s attention was just not working. At this point he was almost sure that he could very well juggle torches in the small carriage and Eric would still sit there, just looking out the window.
What Ethan didn’t know was how grateful Eric was that he had called him to the castle that morning.
Eric could think of nothing but Ariel for the rest of his watch last night. When Grimsby took Ariel below deck, Eric wanted to run right after her and tell her exactly how he felt; that he loved her and he had never felt so right with anyone in his entire life. But he knew Grim would have stopped him in an instant, so he waited. But, the more he waited the more nervous he became. He had never been in love with anyone before. How could he possibly begin to tell Ariel what he felt? What would happen? He had no idea, and suddenly, he was in no hurry to find out. Soon, his feelings of excitement and anticipation had turned into complete anxiety. By the time the sun rose over the water, Eric half wanted to dive overboard.
Ethan’s request to see him that morning had been a lifesaver. But even now riding in the carriage, his thoughts turned right back to Ariel. He was in the middle of thinking up a good segue into the “Ariel, I love you” conversation when a flash of pain shot up his leg.
“Oww! Ethan, what was that for?” Eric asked, rubbing his shin.
“What is wrong with you?” he asked smiling. “I have been trying to get your attention for at least three minutes. You just keep staring out the window!”
“So you decided to kick me in the leg?” Eric asked, still trying to massage the pain away.
“I’m sorry, but I was getting pretty desperate. You were downright brooding! Now answer my question: What’s wrong?” “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just…thinking.”
“Thinking about a certain red head I’ve been hearing about.”
“Ethan, it’s nothing.”
With that, Ethan knew he had hit a nerve, and he had no intention of stopping.
“Eric, you have never brought a girl to Greysmith before. In fact, I don’t think you’ve brought a girl anywhere before. She can’t be a “nothing”. Actually, I think she’s a really big “something”. I can’t wait to meet her.”
“I don’t know why you’re giving me a hard time. You’re the one who’s engaged.”
“Oh, but Eric, that’s different. You know that I’ve adored Antonia since we were in school. The news that Tony and I were getting married was as predictable as summer following spring. You on the other hand just met….”
“Ariel.”
“Ariel.” Ethan thought for a moment. “How did you meet? I don’t think you ever told me.”
“Uh, well.” Eric hadn’t really thought of how he was going to explain the whole mermaid thing to his friends. He knew Ethan would see right through him if he lied. He didn’t have a knack for “omitting certain truths” like Ariel did. “I met her…on the beach.”
“Just…on the beach? Did she just, wash up one day?”
“In a manner of speaking,” Eric said under his breath.
“Well, obviously, I’m not going to get much help from you. I guess I’ll just have to wait to meet Ariel. Hopefully, she’ll be a little more talkative on the subject than you are.”
After that, only the sound of wheels on gravel filled the carriage. Ethan knew there was something Eric wasn’t telling him, but he just couldn’t get him to talk about it. This visit was supposed to be fun and lively, and here they were sitting in awkward silence. There’s has to be some way to get him talk, he thought.
Coincidentally, talking was just the thing on Eric’s mind. I’m in a situation I’ve never been in before. I am pathetically confused about what I should do. All I’ve wanted for the past eight hours is someone to talk to, but I haven’t even said a word to my best friend who’s a foot away from me, he thought. With that, he took a deep breath to calm his nerves, and then he started.
“Ethan, listen, there’s something I need to tell you about me and Ariel.”
“Yes….” Ethan smiled. Now we’re getting somewhere.
“Last night, she and I were talking and I ended up telling her about why I started sailing so often.”
“Yeah.”
“And I started to explain what being on a ship is like for me. You know, we’ve had that conversation.”
“Many times. I remember.”
“Well,” he paused and took a breath, “she said something. Something that just, I don’t know.”
“Completely defined you like no one else ever had,” said Ethan, as if from memory.
“Exactly!” Eric was elated. Why didn’t I say this sooner?
“Trust me,” he said; briefly remembering something, “I know the feeling. But that’s great! I’m glad to hear it.”
“What are you talking about?” Eric asked, totally panic-stricken. “I have no idea what to do! Well, I do know what to do, but I don’t how to do it! Or, if I do it, I don’t what she’s going to say. She could not say anything! Then what would I do?”
“Eric…Eric! It’s ok. Goodness! Looks like I was right; she must really be something. I’ve never seen you like this,” he said chuckling.
“I just…I just don’t know what to do Ethan.”
Ethan then realized the seriousness of the situation. He could immediately identify that sentence. It was the sentence of a man lost and in love.
“Whoa! Whoa!” called the driver. “Your majesties, we’ve arrived at the docks.”
“Thank you, Charles,” Ethan called out, and then he looked back to Eric who was again deep in thought. “Eric, by the end of this trip, you’ll know exactly what to do, I promise. Eric….” With a start, Eric looked up.
“It’ll be ok,” Ethan said, giving Eric a smile and a nudge on the arm.
“Yeah. Yeah, thanks Ethan.”
“What are god brothers for?” Ethan asked as he stepped out of the carriage.
Both he and Eric walked up the gangplank straight to Captain Sayers, who had been waiting for them.
After a quick discussion of the morning’s activities, the Captain gave the two young men the latest news on the whereabouts of a particular redhead. With the information in hand, the two men strolled up the beach in search of her, talking and laughing the entire time.
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Post by grablegal on Jun 18, 2006 22:08:18 GMT -5
Wow, what a wonderful story! Please write more. I would love to see what happens!
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Post by dreamer on Jun 19, 2006 20:54:20 GMT -5
OH! SUSPENSE TIME! well, not really...but sort a.....ANYWAY! Can't wait for them to meet up with Ariel. This should be really good...no....great!!!! Can't wait....can't wait....CAN'T WAIT!! You are a terrific writer and I encourage you to keep writing stories after this one! (applauds)
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Post by Aquisha on Jun 25, 2006 20:16:00 GMT -5
Sorry this has taken so long, but I went on vacation! Woohooo for Colonial Williamsburg! But, I wanted this to be a little longer but it’s what I have so far. There will be more, don’t worry. Thank you all again for your encouragement and your excitement! Here’s a little of what’s to come… ****************************************************
“Max, we’ve been playing fetch all morning. Aren’t you tired yet?” A response of pouncing and panting was all Ariel got from the sheepdog, but it was pretty clear that the answer was “no”.
“Ok, one last time. Fetch Max!”
Ariel hadn’t really paid attention to the direction or velocity she had given this last throw. If she had, she probably would have noticed the two men drawing ever nearer to her and their dangerous proximity to Max’s game of fetch. But, as aforementioned, she wasn’t paying attention. So, the twirling piece of driftwood, propelled with all of Ariel’s might and with no set direction, proceeded to hit Ethan squarely on the forehead.
“Ethan!” Eric cried out. A second ago Ethan was in mid-sentence about his wedding plans and now he was seemingly unconscious on the beach.
“Oh my gosh!” Ariel exclaimed. Almost instantaneously she was by Eric’s side, looking over Ethan.
“Eric, I’m so sorry! Max and I were playing fetch, and it was our last round, and I wasn’t paying attention to where I was throwing the stick; I didn’t even see you two coming!”
Looking up from Ethan, Eric turned to her, smiling. “Ariel, it’s ok. He’s coming around.”
“Ugh…” Ethan groaned, “what happened.”
“I accidentally hit you with a piece of driftwood,” said Ariel, through her hands, which were covering her face.
“A piece of driftwood?” he asked, propping himself up.
Ethan was obviously confused. But, with a perfect sense of timing, and completely oblivious, Max came strolling up to the trio, driftwood in mouth. With a little grumbling sound, he dropped the wood into Ethan’s free hand. The other one was massaging his forehead.
“Oh. Fetch. I see.”
“Ariel, don’t worry,” said Eric, putting his hand on her back. “This has actually happened before.”
“Yes it did,” Ethan remembered. “We knocked James out for a day, didn’t we?”
“I’m really sorry,” said Ariel, who was embarrassed beyond words.
She had dropped her hands enough for Ethan to see her eyes. As soon as he had, he was simply compelled to see the rest of her face.
“I’ll live,” he said with a smile. “Really it’s alright…Ariel.” Saying this he put out his hand to shake hers.
“Thanks. It’s nice to meet you Ethan.”
Ariel finally dropped both her hands and shook Ethan’s. Immediately, Ethan could tell that there was something genuinely special about her. He remembered thinking that it was almost otherworldly, but still charming and warm. Suddenly, he could completely understand why Eric found it so hard to tell this girl that he loved her.
“Ethan, can you stand?” Eric asked.
“I think so.” With a little help from Eric, Ethan was up on his feet. He was a little wobbly, but he was all right.
“Well, all I can say is thank goodness we’re having a masquerade. I’m almost certain I’m going to have a bump there.”
In saying that, Ethan had broken the ice. All three laughed freely, and started to make their way back to the carriage.
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Post by WickedElphie on Jun 25, 2006 22:24:07 GMT -5
Cute. Heh-I love the driftwood of DOOM! That's like something that would happen to me.
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Post by Aquisha on Jun 29, 2006 13:51:47 GMT -5
Hooray for introductions! This is kinda long; it'll take two posts. Thanks for the feedback guys. Keep talking to me, I appreciate it! **************************************************** “Well, Tony, what do you think? Is it serious?” Antonia had given this question some thought. To her, the answer was obvious; Eric cared deeply for this girl he was bringing to Greysmith. That was clear to her the minute she heard that he was coming with company. But she also knew that this very fact had been the source of too much conversation that week. If she answered truthfully, poor Eric wouldn’t even be able to enjoy himself with the barrage of questions that would surely fall on him. She looked back at James who was searching her face for a response. “I think that’s up to Eric to decide. And checkmate, Charlotte.” “Why do even play with you?” the slender brunette asked. “I don’t know,” Tony answered, smiling. “Really, it’s not up to us to dissect Eric’s love life.” “I’m not trying to dissect it,” said Charlotte. “It’s this one who’s decided to have a field day with this.” “It’s not a field day,” James defended. He was sitting on the windowsill, looking out for the royal carriage to return. “It’s just that…well, you all know this has never happened before. Eric was basically the confirmed bachelor of the group. You remember the time when Ethan and I tried to set him up with that girl from Grace House, don’t you? Getting him to go was like pulling teeth.” “Well,” replied Tony, “you two never could really find the right person for him. And maybe he just wasn’t looking back in school. Remember, the purpose of higher education is scholarship, not matrimony.” “If that’s true, then Eric could have gotten his doctorate four times over.” “Plus,” added Charlotte, who just finished reflecting over her failed game of chess. “There was a saying about the girls from Grace House. I think I remember it. Oh, yes: With a Grace House girl, you’re sure in a rut, for a girl from Grace has everything but.” Charlotte gave a little laugh that rarely made an appearance. “Oh, that was funny.” “Oh, Charlotte.” Tony tried to scold, but she just ended up giggling too. “Girls!” cried James. “The carriage just pulled up.” Both Antonia and Charlotte jumped from their seats to meet James at the window. All three watched as Ethan got out of the carriage and looked up at the windows of the castle, obviously looking for something. Suddenly he found what he was looking for. He beamed a charming smile to the three in the window, who immediately waved back. As they were waving, Eric stepped out of the carriage. Ethan put his hand on Eric’s shoulder and pointed him in the direction of their friends in the window. As soon as Eric’s eyes fell on them, it was as if two years had never passed. His face completely lit up as he started to wave. “He hasn’t changed at all has he?” Antonia was totally overjoyed to see him. “No he hasn’t,” answered Charlotte. “Hey now, Charlotte, don’t look too happy to see him,” James said, laughing and taking her hand. They all stopped commenting on Eric as soon as Ariel stepped out of the carriage. She looked beautiful in a simple light green dress with long billowing sleeves and a sweet heart neckline. Her hair was down and looked even redder against the green of her dress. Eric took her arm and guided her into the castle. Ethan trailed behind enough to give a nod of approval to Charlotte, Antonia, and James. By then, Eric’s “company” had more than intrigued the three of them. It was just a matter of racing downstairs to see who would be introduced to the red-haired beauty first.
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Post by Aquisha on Jun 29, 2006 13:55:28 GMT -5
Here's the second part. ****************************************************
There was a life to Ethan’s castle that Ariel could feel immediately. It was as if the candles of tens of parties had never been extinguished, and the music had never died. Ariel had never entered these halls before, but even she felt nostalgic for long, hushed conversations, the sound of heels dancing on marble, and evenings that faded into dawn.
“You all must have had wonderful times here,” she said to Eric.
“Yeah,” he answered with a smile. “Some of my best memories are in these rooms.”
Ariel sighed.
“I feel like I came to the party a few years too late.”
Eric caught a glimpse of Ariel as she spoke. I feel the same way, he thought. Eric had been called to rule the kingdom as soon as he was out of school. For the past two years he had had no time for friends or birthdays or holidays. There were things here he knew he’d missed and would never be able to get back.
“Well, I feel like I left it too early,” he said to her with a melancholy smile.
Those dimples were all it took to plunge Ariel deep into thought.
The entire time in the carriage Eric had acted, well, normal. But to Ariel it was too normal. After last night she had expected him to rush to her and profess every deep feeling he had for her. But all she had gotten were little anecdotes about his school days (which she really did find adorably interesting) and formal manners with no sign of deeper affection. I don’t know what I’m expecting, she thought. He’s here for his friends, not to confess his undying love for me. Her attempt at rationalizing would work for a total of five minutes before she looked at him and a deep longing found its way back into her heart. That smile had just made it worse. I know there’s something more; there’s a connection. If he would just say something….
“Tony!” This was not quite what Ariel expected. Stirred from her thoughts, Ariel looked up to see Eric running toward a tall blonde woman of about eighteen who was descending the staircase in front of them. She was beaming from ear to ear as Eric hugged and lifted her off the last two steps. Right behind the young blonde was a very demure looking brunette whose hair was slicked into a tight bun. She looked rather serious, but the smile on her face took away any intimidation. And lastly, there was a young man, stocky and shorter than Eric, with sandy hair who looked anxious to have his turn in greeting him.
Just when Ariel was about to feel abandoned, Ethan stepped in, almost as if he anticipated it. He offered his arm to Ariel with a smile that immediately made her forget any feelings of neglect.
“It’s just that it’s been a while,” he said with a knowing smile. “Don’t worry, he hasn’t forgotten you.”
“Thanks.” She was beginning to see why Ethan and Eric were such good friends. They always seemed to pick up where the other one left off.
Ethan led Ariel to the band of teenagers that had congregated at the foot of the stairs. Just as they arrived there, Eric turned around.
“Oh! Ariel, I’m sorry.”
“No, Eric, it’s ok.”
Eric reached out for her free hand, which Ariel gave nervously, and pulled her beside him.
“Ariel, these are my friends from school: James, Charlotte, and Antonia. Everyone this is Ariel.”
Eric said this with an amount of enthusiasm that even he was surprised by. But, he felt like he couldn’t help it. He was genuinely excited for the five of them to meet and for his friends to take Ariel in as though they had known her for years.
“It’s good to finally meet you Ariel,” said Antonia. The sincerity in her voice comforted Ariel immediately.
“You too,” Ariel replied. “I’ve heard so much about you all.”
“Good things I hope,” added James.
Ariel smiled. “I did hear about you having some unfortunate incident with Max and a game of fetch.”
“You told her that?” James exclaimed.
“We happened to mention it, yes,” said Eric, feigning innocence.
“Did he tell you that it was completely his fault?”
“I don’t think I caught that,” Ariel replied playfully.
“James,” Charlotte interjected. “How many years ago was that? Can’t you just forget it? Eric and Max were playing a game and you lacked the good sense to notice that you were walking right into it.”
“Charlotte, my love, you oversimplify.”
“Excuse me,” Charlotte surrendered. “Then do enlighten us.”
Ariel loved this. They were playful yet frank, open but still, they were very close to each other. There was something very special about the combination of these five people. Suddenly, she felt almost honored to be welcomed into it.
“Ariel, allow me to cut through whatever fog this strapping ruffian might have deceived you with.” As he said this he took her hand and led her further into the castle. “First, the atmosphere….”
“Here we go,” Charlotte sighed. “I’m sorry, Ariel. I tried.”
Ariel looked over her shoulder and smiled at Charlotte, who was following close behind. Then she turned and gave all of her attention to James as he established the “milieu” of the incident.
Eric watched them first, then, he felt Tony take his arm.
“I really like her. Anyone who has the patience to indulge James must really be special.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Eric mused. “I’m glad you feel that way. It’s really important to me.”
Eric didn’t have to say anything more about how he felt bringing Ariel to Greysmith. The tone in his voice was all Tony needed to hear.
“I know.” She put her hand on his back and gently pushed him in front of her. “Now go and make sure James doesn’t soil your good reputation.”
Eric just smiled, and quickly caught up to James, Charlotte, and Ariel.
Ethan walked up to his fiancée and put his arm around her waist.
“He loves her, doesn’t he?” she asked.
Ethan just smiled, looking awfully guilty.
“I’m not saying a thing.”
The two shared a glance and took their time in catching up to their friends.
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Post by WickedElphie on Jun 29, 2006 16:09:05 GMT -5
Fluffy yet satisfying! Nice job. One thing, I noticed one or two omitted words, though I can't exactly remember where. A good way to avoid that is to make sure you read over your chapter as you're writing it, once after it's finished, and once after it's posted. You'd be surprised what you catch on the final read-through. That's what I do. You might still have mistakes, but there'll be less.
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Post by grablegal on Jun 29, 2006 22:50:37 GMT -5
I just love this story! I can't wait for more.
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Post by dreamer on Jun 29, 2006 23:27:43 GMT -5
BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
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Post by Prince Mike on Jun 30, 2006 23:55:39 GMT -5
Very good. Finish writing more!!
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