|
Post by dreamer on Jul 20, 2007 13:45:05 GMT -5
Oh I can't wait for them to meet and talk! Thanks for putting that part up!
|
|
|
Post by eltuita on Jul 20, 2007 18:35:59 GMT -5
What an adorable new chapter!!!!! I love it; Its very well written and I love the way you describe things; I cant wait them to meet and talk
|
|
|
Post by myprincewillbehim on Jul 20, 2007 19:02:00 GMT -5
omg this is great im so happy that your contuineing it yay. i can't wait to see what they will talk about
|
|
|
Post by lostgurlxx on Jul 27, 2007 15:21:35 GMT -5
Thankyou all for the lovely comments, heres the next bit, hope you like! (comments are always nice ) She made herself as tiny as possible behind the rock and managed to peek an eye round the edge. The figure was getting closer and the mermaid felt her whole body tense as it approached. It was then that she realized, even though half his face was drenched in shadow, that it was Eric. She could tell, because the candle's glow shown over one of his bright blue eyes. She felt her heart flutter, he had the most beautiful eyes. “Hello?” His voice was soft and gentle, and Ariel remembered how sweet he had been last time they had met. She could tell he knew she was there, he just couldn’t see her quite yet, as the feeble flame atop the candle only lit his face. The young mermaid shuffled into view, climbing on top of the rock and waited patiently for him. He slowed to a halt, just in front of her. “Ariel, is that you?” He asked, straining to see her. “Yes.” Ariel responded, her voice barley a whisper. Her heart was thumping so hard against her rib cage that she felt it might explode at any second. “You came back. I didn’t think I’d get the joy of seeing you again.” He paused, craning his neck, holding the candle out. “I can hardly see you now.” Ariel giggled slightly, as did he. Luckily the night was still, as was the ocean, so the flame lighting the space between them did not flicker. He finally moved beside her, taking a seat on the rock she was on. “Why did you save me?” Eric said curiously, squinting to catch a simple glimpse of the beautiful girl in the dark. Ariel stared back at him. “Because.” She stopped briefly, thinking about her answer. She wanted so badly to tell him she loved him, that the first glimpse she had caught of him on that ship had sent her spiralling down into a frenzy of utter hopelessness. Into love. Her eyes met his and she knew she shouldn’t tell him that quite yet. Eric was waiting expectantly for her answer and she sighed, blowing her fringe from her damp face. “You were drowning, I did what was right.” Eric nodded, smiling, his affection for her clear. “And, you came back. Why?” “I…wanted to.” He heart was in her throat, she was terrified, scared of what his assumptions of her may be, yet he just continued to watch her, with a twinkle in his eye. Wickedelfie proof read for me again
|
|
|
Post by jodeefan12 on Jul 27, 2007 22:16:53 GMT -5
wow i like it! you are a good writer! i cant wait to read more!
|
|
|
Post by dreamer on Jul 28, 2007 18:54:07 GMT -5
Great addition! Keep it up and thanks for posting more!
|
|
|
Post by eltuita on Jul 28, 2007 23:50:40 GMT -5
Oh My God!!!! What a great chapter!!!!! I cant wait to know if Ariel is going to tell Eric she's in love of him, Oh please post a new chapter soon, I love your Fan Fic!!!! Great chapter, I love it.
|
|
|
Post by lostgurlxx on Jul 29, 2007 10:08:45 GMT -5
Thanks again for the nice comments. Here is the new chapter, I feel the story getting darker “I heard you singing, it carried on the wind to the shore. I think your voice is wonderful.” Ariel felt herself redden and she looked down bashfully. “I want to keep seeing you. Will you meet me? Tomorrow night? Same time, same place?” He now had hold of her hands and had pulled her towards him. “I’d love to” Ariel agreed, barely containing her excitement. “It’s settled.” He got to his feet and smiled broadly. “I’d better get going, Grim’ll go crazy if he finds me out here this late.” He began to walk away, candle clutched in his hand but swivelled back around briefly. “Thank you.” *** Ariel dived back into the ocean, butterfly fish fluttering in her stomach. He wanted to see her again. He wanted to see her again! He thought her voice was wondeful, and he seemed so grateful she had saved him. Swimming in ecstatic circles under the water, Ariel strayed away into the darker depths of Atlantica. Soon she could not see a thing and she stopped abruptly, hovering in the stillness. She felt a lump of fear in her throat and she looked about warily, trying to stay calm. It was then she saw them, the murky silhouettes of two lengthy eels. She couldn’t fully make them out but she sensed the evil hovering about them. “The child is lovesick.” One hissed, entwining itself around Ariel’s torso. “She has fallen for a human. What is she to do?” The other whispered, swimming about her in circles. “Who…who are you?” The redhead’s voice trembled and she shuddered slightly at the eel’s touch. “We represent someone with the power to help you sort your…problem.” Ariel felt herself getting angry. “There is no problem!” she snapped, pulling away. “Leave me alone!” And with that, she swam away, submerging herself into the black. The next morning Ariel woke with happiness swelling inside her. Had last night been real? Had Eric really asked her to return? She knew the answer was yes, and leaped from bed, grinning ear to ear. As she swam out of her room slow realisation crept over her and she paused, staring blankly ahead. What had the eels said? ‘She has fallen for a human. What is she to do?’ Ariel frowned at the memory but continued thinking hard about the situation. Eric seemed smitten with her, as she was with him, surely he…The teenager looked down at her tail, and remembered Erics human legs. She felt her lip tremble. Of course she had a problem, he would never want to be with a- “Ariel! How is my favourite mermaid?” The redhead span around to see Sebastian approaching. Before he reached her, she burst into sobs and raced back into her room, burying her pretty face in her sponge pillow. “Oh Ariel child, you aren’t still upset about dat human boy are you?” Watching the girls continuing sobs, he drew the conclusion in his mind. “Dere’ll be udder boys! Merboys! Don’t dat sound tempting?” He grinned and put one of his scarlet pincers on her arm, but she ignored him. “I’ll leave you alone.” As the little crab scuttled from the room, Ariel looked up, tears still in her eyes. As Sebastian had spoken to her, she had come to another drastic decision. She had to find those eels. She thought hard and remembered who she had known them to be with. Ursula, the sea witch. She knew where she lived. She had to find her. So, with one last glance at her tail, (which she disliked severly right now) she left the palace.
|
|
|
Post by dreamer on Jul 29, 2007 19:50:38 GMT -5
THIS IS GETTING SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!
|
|
|
Post by myprincewillbehim on Jul 29, 2007 20:02:27 GMT -5
ohhh very nice i LOVE it u are a GREAT writer. I hope eric still knows its ariel and will still love her
|
|
|
Post by dreamer on Jul 30, 2007 12:26:19 GMT -5
Oh man myprincewillbehim I completely agree!!!!!!!!!!!!! I soooooo hope that Eric realizes it's Ariel!
|
|
|
Post by eltuita on Jul 31, 2007 22:07:16 GMT -5
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love the Chapter!!!!!!! I simply Love it, you have to post some more really soon, I really like how this story it's turning into something more and more interesting and exciting
|
|
|
Post by jodi2432 on Aug 1, 2007 0:10:29 GMT -5
oo its soo good!!!!!
|
|
|
Post by lostgurlxx on Aug 3, 2007 9:05:41 GMT -5
Thanks again for the comments, they're keeping me motivated to write more!
Ariel approached the large, monster-like cave, which was glowing eerily pink. She hesitated at the entrance, which was the mouth of the huge creature it resembled. This was one of the stupidest and most brilliant ideas she had ever had, and as she made her way inside she noticed hundreds of distorted creatures across the floor of the cave, crying, screaming at her. Terrified, Ariel swam on wondering what horrors awaited her ahead. Soon she emerged into a dark cavern, where a large, black shape sat before a mirror. As she got closer, Ariel saw she was a midnight black octopus, fixing her makeup. Ursula had obviously seen the girls reflection in the mirror and grinned at her. “Greetings Princess!” Ariel jumped slightly at the sound of her booming voice, but she moved forward all the same, determined to prove she was not afraid, "I was wondering if you could help me?” She watched as Ursula smiled evilly, maybe too evilly. Ariel shook the feeling and gulped, waiting for a reply. “You want to be human.” The witch span around and swam towards her, placing one of her many tentacles on the redheads shoulder. “I, hadn’t thought that far ahead. I didn’t know you could do that.” “My dear, anything is possible...to help unfortunate merfolk like yourself. Poor souls with no-one else to turn to.”
I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witch But you’ll find that nowadays, I’ve mended all my ways Repented, seen the light and made a switch...
She finished a couple of verses, and paused. “Now, here's the deal. I will make you a potion that will turn you into a human for three days. Got that? Three days. Now listen, this is important.” Ursula turned Ariel's head to her cauldron, where small images began to flicker and change as she spoke. “Before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get dear ol' princey to accept your new form. He may not recognize your human form at first, but I’m giving you the three days to remedy that. Now, in order to remain human forever, you must get the prince to kiss you. Not just any kiss, the kiss of true love. If he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day, you'll remain human, permanently, but - if he doesn't, you turn back into a mermaid, and - you belong to me.” The girl was looking stunned, obviously piecing it together in her mind. The deal seemed foolproof, and she somehow knew Eric was in love with her. “Have we got a deal?” Ariel snapped out of it and nodded vaguely, subconsciously worrying about not being able to see her family again. However her love for Eric was too strong. “There is one more thing, we haven’t discussed the subject of payment.” “But I don’t have any-“ “I'm not asking much. Just a token, really, a trifle. What I want from you is . . . your voice. “ Ariel brought a hand to her throat. “My voice?” Her mind raced, would Eric still love her without her voice? If he loved her for her, then her voice wouldn’t matter. From what he had said, how he had acted, he seemed to like everything about her. She was doing it for him, getting legs so they could be together forever. It was for the best.“Okay, take it!” Ursula then burst into song once more, throwing bottles of odd liquids, some with creatures trapped inside, into a large black cauldron. Ariel found her red hair get blown back by seas of bubbles as explosions came from the pot and she felt herself getting slightly scared. A golden piece of parchment appeared in front of her, a quill floating ominously beside it. With one last timid look around her, Ariel signed it, screwing her eyes shut as she did so. “Now, SING.” Ursula yelled, her eyes staring wildly at the teenager. Ariel sung, as best she could, as loud she could. As she did so, she realized this would be the last song she would ever sing, and began getting higher, her stunning vocals echoing around the cave. “Keep singing!” It was then that Ariel saw it, smoky green hands reaching for her, running down her throat and pulling a glowing orb from it. Her voice. It echoed inside its golden chamber, and Ariel clutched at her throat, beginning to regret her choice. Then, it stopped. The voice had been encased in a shell necklace around Ursulas neck, and now Ariel was rising up inside another bubble, thrashing about as her tail twisted and changed.
|
|
|
Post by dreamer on Aug 3, 2007 18:00:47 GMT -5
WHAT A CLIFFHANGER! Great story!
|
|
|
Post by eltuita on Aug 10, 2007 0:14:43 GMT -5
Oh My God!!! Great Cliffhanger!!! I can't wait Eric to see Ariel as a human
|
|
|
Post by lostgurlxx on Aug 12, 2007 18:12:30 GMT -5
hey guys, im writing more but im going on holiday for a week, so there wont be anymore installments for a bit. I am in the process of writing more, so no worries!
|
|
|
Post by dreamer on Aug 12, 2007 20:56:42 GMT -5
Have fun!
|
|
|
Post by weaselbeast on Aug 12, 2007 21:04:34 GMT -5
Errg. I can't believe I only just started reading this. A wonderful peice of writing. What it lacks in polish it makes up for in sheer enthusiasm. This is an excellent take on the movie and yes.
Best of luck to you and I hope you have fun.
|
|
|
Post by dreamer on Sept 18, 2007 20:21:36 GMT -5
Can't wait for more... : )
|
|