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Post by Kimberly on Apr 4, 2011 9:52:22 GMT -5
good chapter, can't wait for the next. please write more soon.
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Post by josh89 on Apr 4, 2011 12:36:05 GMT -5
love it !! cant wait for the next chapter
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Post by daytripper on Apr 4, 2011 13:49:58 GMT -5
good chapter, can't wait for the next. please write more soon. you know i think i will |
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Post by daytripper on Apr 4, 2011 21:05:40 GMT -5
working on the next chapter now MAY have one up tonight.......
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Post by josh89 on Apr 6, 2011 19:47:52 GMT -5
cant wait take your time
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Post by Ariel on Apr 7, 2011 13:29:43 GMT -5
Great chapter.can't wait to read the next Chapter   |
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Post by daytripper on Apr 11, 2011 13:57:50 GMT -5
sorry people i have writers block and also i NEED to do my current events artical for civics. and then i need to study for SAT's...............ugh life stinks
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Post by daytripper on Apr 16, 2011 22:10:19 GMT -5
hey guys sorry i havent been updating, i know i owe you guys two stories and i'm working on it but its getting harder and harder to write so bear with me
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Post by josh89 on Apr 16, 2011 23:58:52 GMT -5
will do =) i will continue waiting
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Post by daytripper on Apr 19, 2011 11:06:34 GMT -5
If a tree falls in the forest, but there's no one there to hear it, Does it make a sound?
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Post by josh89 on Apr 19, 2011 11:32:16 GMT -5
no they wouldnt unless the people live near the forest than yea
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Post by daytripper on Apr 19, 2011 21:10:23 GMT -5
Actually modern science tells us that it DOES make a sound.
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Post by daytripper on Apr 20, 2011 22:49:44 GMT -5
I know its not that long guys but my writing strek has come to a halt. i am finishing this one up because i have other ideas forming in my head and i dont want to start them yet because everytime i start one i never finish the other.
Chapter 14
Waking Up
Marty woke up to Flounder tapping him on the arm.
“Hey, Marty!” Flounder whispered.
“Hmmouhhhoh” Marty Groaned in response. Ariel giggled behind Flounder at Marty's response. Marty was slumped up against the wall outside the music room of the palace. Ariel's music lesson had ended a few minutes ago but Marty was still asleep.
“Come on silly get up” Ariel said playfully punching him on the shoulder.
“Wh-what?” Marty said blearily getting up blinking his eyes in confusion.
“You fell asleep during the rehearsal” Flounder said. Marty yawned (which s very difficult to do in a mask).
“How long was I out for?” Marty asked checking his wrist for his watch.
“Hey what is that?” Ariel asked looking at his watch with great interest. She thought that it was some sort of miniature clock but she had never seen one work underwater. Also it looked strange to her.
“It's a watch” Marty said twisting his wrist so Ariel could see. Ariel now had a better view and was able to see that it was indeed a miniature clock. She recognized the hands and the roman numerals.
“Whats a watch?” Ariel asked curiously.
“It's like a miniature clock” Marty said confirming Ariel's assumptions. Ariel finished examining the watch before letting go of Marty's wrist. She thought to herself for a minute. Marty tried guessing what she was thinking about.
“What are thinking about?” Marty asked. Ariel looked at him startled by the fact that she had drifted off.
“What?” She asked not comprehending what he had just said.
“What are you thinking about?” Marty said slower this time so Ariel would be able to understand.
“I was thinking about life on the surface” Ariel said sadly. She lowered her head to look down at her fin wishing she didn't have it again.
“Daddy wouldn't let me live on the surface after Eric died, he said it was too dangerous to live alone” Ariel said, tears falling from her eyes only to merge with the surrounding water.
“He's right you know” Marty said in a soft tone realizing the touchy subject. “Life on the surface nowadays is cruel and unforgiving” he said giving her a smile.
“I don't believe you” Ariel said with a wide smile. Marty smiled back.
“Hey uh you guys okay?” Flounder asked not liking what he was seeing.
“Chill out Flounder I'm just trying to cheer her up” Marty said waving his hand causing Flounder to tumble backwards.
Getting up they decided to go and see some sights of the kingdom. Ariel lead the way with Flounder as her personal Assistant. Marty followed along and listened to Ariel tell stories about the water slide or the time she was almost eaten by a shark. In the end Marty learned a lot about the ocean and had a better awareness of life under the sea.
“Well I'm kinda hungry, why don't you guys go back to the palace and get something to eat and we can all eat on the surface?” Marty said.
“But why not eat with daddy?” Ariel said chuckling a little.
“Um, human. Remember?” Marty said motioning at his body.
“Oh... right” Ariel said embarrassed that she had forgotten. It seemed like Marty belonged in the sea sometimes.
“Yeah, and its kinda hard to sit and watch you guys eat in front of me” Marty said.
“But why don't you have your own food?” Ariel asked curiously.
“I lost it” Marty said quickly and suspiciously. Ariel eyed him curiously, unsure of what to think by his small action. Truth be told Marty did lose it, by tossing it into a deep underwater trench. His meal was fish.
“Well that's unfortunate” Ariel said.
“Well we better get going now if we want to get something to eat” Flounder said. He was floating at Ariel's side as always. He had his silly little smile plastered on his face.
“Yeah your right Flounder, but well need a good excuse if daddy's going to let us eat out of the palace” Ariel said worriedly.
“Why would it be a problem? People in the human world rarely eat in the dinning room” Marty said surprised. He thought that they all ate together because they had him as a guest.
“We always eat together or we don't eat at all” Ariel said sadly. She wanted more than anything to be a part of the human world again. But she understood where her father was coming from. Ever since entire species started going extinct because of humans he banned contact with them.
Ariel swam off leaving Marty to contemplate his thoughts.
anyways dont forget to comment thats the only thing that keeps me writing is knowing people read and like my story.
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Post by josh89 on Apr 21, 2011 8:53:41 GMT -5
i sooo love this chapter ! please do continue
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Post by Ariel on Apr 21, 2011 19:23:59 GMT -5
wonderful chapter I love it :)Great job! |
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Post by Kimberly on Apr 30, 2011 1:19:28 GMT -5
good chapter, keep it coming can't wait to read more.
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Post by daytripper on Apr 30, 2011 8:11:24 GMT -5
okay guys this entie week has been very hectic (school) i wasent even able to write a single sentance!!! LOL but now that the week is over i can start work on it again.
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Post by daytripper on Apr 30, 2011 22:12:38 GMT -5
Chapter 15
The last day
Marty swam to the surface to check his surroundings. Living underwater for two days has helped him to be able to orient himself underwater. He now has a found respect for the ocean and all the inhabitants of Atlantica and the ocean.
Marty breached the surface and looked around. No one in sight. 'Good' Marty thought to himself. 'We can eat in peace'.
Marty heard a jet way overhead and looked up. About three thousand feet above him was a commercial Airliner. But to Marty it was just a tiny dot.
Marty floated there thinking to himself for about five minutes when he was suddenly interrupted of his thoughts.
“Its beautiful, isn't it?” Sebastian said looking at the vast ocean in front of them.
“Yeah” Marty said looking at the crab suspiciously. Yesterday he was very hostile towards him but today he was calm and talking to him like they had been friends for years.
“Listen Marty, Ariel likes you, I can see it in her eyes. Weter or not she like you as a friend or mate, I cannot tell” Sebastian said in a very solemn tone. He seemed sad and Marty realized that whatever was was going to say couldn't be good.
“What I'm tryin ta say is dat, she can't love you. If she loves you she'll be forced to run away to the human world... Again. And king Triton will be so sad and upset that there is no telling what he'll do” Sebastian turned to face Marty. Marty looked shocked and upset, he had a idea where this conversation was going.
“You need to leave” He said sadly and quietly. Marty just floated there dumbfounded. He didn't know if he was telling him to go because he didn't like him or because he really didn't want to see Ariel leave.
“What?” Marty managed to say. His mind was a jumbled mess, he loved living under the sea and especially loves spending time with Ariel. He had already decided that he was going to live under the sea permanently.
“You must leave here and never see Ariel again, or else I tell da King and have him deal with you” Sebastian said. He didn't want to do this, Marty could see it in his eyes. But he knew it was his duty to keep Ariel safe.
“Are you serious?” Marty asked in disbelief.
“Unfortunately yes” Sebastian answered. They saw Ariel was coming and Sebastian decided that it would be better if she didn't know he was there.
“You have one day to say goodbye, at midnight tomorrow, if your not gone I tell the king. Also if you tell Ariel what I said to you I will immediately tell the king” Sebastian said quickly before swimming away. Marty had been so upset by what Sebastian had told him that he didn't notice that he was underwater again.
A few seconds later Ariel came swimming over to Marty with Flounder by her side.
“Hey Marty!” Flounder said, waving his little fin.
“Hi Marty!” Ariel said after Flounder.
Marty was still in shock but tried his best to hide it.
“Is something wrong?” Ariel asked? She seemed genuinely concerned. That only made it harder for Marty to say goodbye, he knew that Ariel would be disappointed when he told her. He was also disappointed, not only was she happy, caring, and fun to be around but she was also, his friend.
“Ariel, I... need to tell you something” Marty said hating every letter of what he spoke that formed the awful words he was saying.
“What's wrong?” Ariel asked putting her hand on his shoulder.
“...I... I have to leave tomorrow....I am sorry” Marty said sadly. He looked away from her, afraid that he was going to cry but also he couldn't bear to bring himself to look her in the face.
“Why do you have to go? I brought you food, and you said yourself that you can stay underwater forever with that “mask” on you face” Ariel said. And she was right, just like she said she had a two plates covered in seaweed covering what Marty presumed was food under it.
“Ariel, I have a life ...on land” Marty said pulling her hand off his shoulder and holding it in his.
“Ariel, I wish like he** I could stay here with you” Marty continued. “But I have friends and family that would miss me, and I can't exactly tell them that I am living under the sea with a beautiful mermaid” Marty said smiling to himself at the thought of telling his parents.
“Well I could come visit you!” Ariel said desperately. There had to be a way! She succeeded before with Eric, she can succeed now!
“NO! Ariel it is too dangerous for you to go anywhere near humans, the would capture you and dissect you or put you in a museum. Please, promise me that you won't follow me” Marty said pleadingly.
“But I...”
“PROMISE ME!” Marty said.
Ariel sadly shook her head in conformation. She was devastated, her new friend who had filled the void that was left by the death of Eric, was now leaving.
“I'm sorry Ariel, I'm so, so, sorry” Marty said.
“Can you at least visit me?” Ariel said sobbing. She wasn't exactly crying, but she had a steady stream of tears running down her beautiful face.
“I'll Try” Marty said. It hurt him to lie to her, but seeing her lie this only made things worse
“But you'll miss our concert!” Ariel said tears still streaming down her face.
“Then we'll have our own concert” Marty said wiping the tears off her face. Marty noticed that Flounder had disappeared during the discussion.
“Please don't leave me Marty” Ariel begged. She needed Marty, he made life fun and fulfilling.
“I have to Ariel” Marty said.
They floated there for a few minutes just enjoying each others presence.
“How do you plan on having our own concert?” Ariel asked.
“Well I was thinking that we go in your grotto and you sing a few songs for me?” Marty said happy that the whole ordeal was over.
“If I am going to sing you, you need to sing to me!” Ariel said giggling.
“Deal” Marty said happily.
“Well I have to get some 'Things' if I am going to preform for you” Marty said swimming up twoards the surface.
“Hey! Where are you going?” Ariel asked.
“I need to make a call” Marty yelled to her as he sped away.
“What does he mean call?” Ariel said to herself.
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Post by josh89 on May 1, 2011 13:34:20 GMT -5
omg i really liked his chapter i actually teared a lil bit =( but great work cant wait for the next one
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Post by daytripper on May 1, 2011 23:24:36 GMT -5
I know this is a happy forum but i would just like to say that Osama Bin Laden IS DEAD!!!!!! USA USA USA USA!!!!!!!
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