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Post by WickedElphie on Mar 30, 2008 23:38:12 GMT -5
Aww! I love the cute.
Dinner was fun, and I enjoyed Ariel channeling Buffy ("nobody messes with my boyfriend.") Eric was great at calming her down, and is really so easy-going that the soup thing wouldn't bother him.
I also love how Triton is surreputesly letting the guys in on his little secrets to surviving the girls.
All the series references are really fun, and I like hunting for them in each chapter.
I can't wait for more!
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Post by WickedElphie on Mar 25, 2008 11:28:18 GMT -5
Woot! More story! Hee. I loved everyone's interactions with Eric. Ariel's sisters have *so* adopted him. Triton couldn't have hurt him for fear of facing his daughters' collective wrath.
I hope we get to see one or two conversations between Triton and Eric, merman to merman, 'cause I think that'd be really cute.
I can't wait for more!
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Post by WickedElphie on Mar 14, 2008 18:38:43 GMT -5
Eric is such an adorable little Mer-Klutz! He' so cute, seeing everything for the first time. He and Ariel are SO meant for each other it isn't funny. I keep thinking of more people from the series I want him to meet. The total as of now is: Spot, Urchin, Pearl, Evil Manta, Little Evil, Gabrielle, Apollo, the Blow Fish that put the giggle spell on Ariel, Stormy, and the crab scouts. Unreasonable, me? Never. Seriously though, any of the above would make me happy-well happier, since I'm already ecstatic.
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Post by WickedElphie on Mar 10, 2008 19:31:38 GMT -5
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
I'm SO excited that you started this story. Hee! re Eric having to take things off. Plus your Eric is lucky that he's getting cahnged by the trident, so no pain.
You totally made my day.
BTW I uploaded Chapter 3 of BSS a few days ago, if you want to take a look.
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Post by WickedElphie on Nov 7, 2005 20:09:05 GMT -5
Angel: The Series is a spin-off of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Angel is a 250 year old vampire who was cursed with the return of his human soul 100 years ago. At the end of Season Three, Angel's son, who had been raised by his enemy in a he** dimension, locked Angel in a metal box and dropped him to the bottom of the sea. Someone was inspired by the idea and wrote a cute li'l story. Here's the link I found. Enjoy! www.fanfiction.net/s/1868411/2/
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Post by WickedElphie on Oct 26, 2005 8:38:41 GMT -5
Hmmm...fanfiction.com is the best place I think you mean fanfiction.net . But if it's a completely original work than fictionpress.com is the better choice.
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Post by WickedElphie on Aug 14, 2006 19:02:55 GMT -5
Glad to hear things are starting to come together!
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Post by WickedElphie on Jul 14, 2006 23:29:47 GMT -5
It's a shame, but never fear of losing your audience. We're a patient bunch. We can wait. We'd rather not, of course, but we can.
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Post by WickedElphie on Jul 11, 2006 22:22:53 GMT -5
Writer's Block is a truly evil thing. If it would help to discuss the problems you're having with plot-lines etc., feel free to PM me. I'd be happy to help, and I wouldn't mind being spoiled if it'd get the gears moving again.
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Post by WickedElphie on Apr 5, 2006 21:28:39 GMT -5
Wonderful! Ooh I can't wait to see how this continues! Just great!
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Post by WickedElphie on Mar 16, 2006 19:44:45 GMT -5
Sounds like a plan-after our current stories are finished of course. Good luck on getting some alone time to type.
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Post by WickedElphie on Mar 16, 2006 14:03:23 GMT -5
Hey, just wanted to let you know some of my thoughts on this story.
1) I love the way you took a few seemingly simple plot-lines and expanded them over time. Everything flows wonderfully.
2) I also like your characterization. It's true to the movie/series, but I can still detect your personal touch.
3) Exposition about Eric's family/past: Whee! Fun stuff.
4) Pirates. 'Nuff said.
5) Eric's the 'damsel' in distress. Awesomeness.
In short: Marry me. We could make beautiful fanfic together.
OK, the proposal wasn't exactly serious, but my love and appreciation for this story is. Update soon, please!
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Post by WickedElphie on Aug 25, 2005 21:22:50 GMT -5
Thanks so much, but I just parodied the theme song there. I was wondering if people would like to see me parody an actual episode with the first 'film' being the actual Little Mermaid movie. Any takers?
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Post by WickedElphie on Aug 25, 2005 19:05:33 GMT -5
Swemer requested a parody awhile back but I've had some trouble getting it to work. I did have another idea that's sorta in the same ballpark.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 was a TV show about a guy who was forced to watch bad movies to break his will. He'd watch with his robot friends and they'd make fun of the movies as they watched. Well, what if:
In the not-too-distant future- In a kingdom under the sea- There's a merman named Triton Who had a nifty Trident-thingy He ruled over all the merpeople and fish And punished evildoers with a swish He did a good job taking care of life marine, But Ursula wanted to take over So she stuffed him in a submarine
Ursula: I'll send him Disney movies, The sappiest I can find (la-la-la). He'll have to sit and watch them all, While I monitor his mind (la-la-la). Now keep in mind Triton can't control Where the movies begin or end (la-la-la) He'll try to keep his sanity With his daughter and her friends
Roll Call: Eric! (Huh?) Ariel! ( I don’t wanna be part of THIS world) Sebastian! (Oh mon!) Flounder! (This is scary!)
If you're wondering how they eat and breathe and other science facts (la la la), Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a fanfic, I should really just relax For Mystery Mermaid Theater 3000!"
Swemer-yes, no, maybe so? Anyone else with thoughts?
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Post by WickedElphie on Mar 17, 2006 15:04:24 GMT -5
Hey there Merstar! I see you've posted this on Fanfiction.net, but it's slightly different. Since that version's newer, I'll respond to that. BTW on fanfiction.net you aren't allowing anonymous reviews. www.fanfiction.net/s/2847161/1/OK. I'm going to be pretty critical here, but let me assure you your story DOES NOT suck. You're a new writer, so you're going to make mistakes. I've been writing for about five years now, and God knows I'm not perfect. Two thumbs way way up: 1st: Props for having decent spelling and correct grammar. Believe it or not, that can sometimes be a problem, especially on ff.net. 2nd: I've been a fan of Sailor Moon since forever, so I LOVE the idea of a fusion between SM and TLM. Question: Are we talking dub or Japanese version? Either way, if you ever need some information on the manga/anime, I'd be happy to share it with you. You obviously have a clear idea of where you want to go with this story, which is great. I can tell it's going to be very original. Things that could be improved: Your chapter's a little on the short side. Now, you don't need twenty pages, but I'd say 2-3 pages is a pretty safe minimum. Like your story as a whole, each chapter should have a beginning, middle, and end. How you structure this depends on your personal style. You might want to focus on one set of characters per chapter, or go back and forth between scenes. You're time-line's a little shaky for me: Melody's a character, yet Morgana's not an ice cube. A quick line establishing that she'd freed herself/ had been freed by someone else would set this decisively after the second movie and end the confusion. It seems unlikely that Morgana would be able to free the Cave Sorceress who is shown as powerful, yet needs the trident to break free of the cave, when we know from TLM2 Morgana's not the best at casting spells. She needed a leftover potion from Ursula to even turn Melody into a mermaid. Also, the Cave Sorceress states that Ariel put her in the cave. That's not quite right. King Triton did, a long time ago. But in the episode "Red" the sorceress, through the glow-fish, changed King Triton into a child, so she could trick him into giving her the trident. Ariel was there with her father, and I believe she was suspicious of the sorceress, giving the spell time to reverse. I'm not entirely sure about the last, but I can check my copy of the episode. The point is, if you're not sure about the details, go ahead and be vague. Having the sorceress say, "Oh, I remember her all right, the little brat." would have been enough. On the other hand, expanding on details allows you to pull the reader in. The conference of villains feels a little rushed. Take your time to set the scene piece by piece; build up the suspense and sense of drama; hook the reader. Overall: Yes, there are some things that could be better, but there's also a LOT to like. I really, truly hope you continue. There's SO much potential. I'm sorry if I seemed harsh, but I'd love to see this story become even better. Can't wait for the next part!
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Post by WickedElphie on Sept 17, 2006 23:25:10 GMT -5
I'm glad you liked it. I will try to get a chapter a month up-but I do have Real Life stuff to deal with. Be patient, Kay?
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Post by WickedElphie on Sept 17, 2006 0:35:25 GMT -5
Authors notes: I’m SO sorry it took so long, but like Aquisha I just started college. For awhile I lacked both the time and files I needed to wrap up this chapter. It’s finally done, and while it mostly consists of Daemon and Ariel doing the exposition tango, it’s got some good stuff.
There’s going to be a few characters from Buffy and Angel popping up to dispense some helpful advice, much as Cole did earlier, though the advising won‘t be in this chapter. Those making an appearance are: Willow, Xander, Cordelia, Darla, Doyle, Tara, Wesley, and Fred. It sounds like a lot, but they’ll be in groups. I have reasons for picking the characters I did, but you don’t NEED to know their histories to understand this story, it’s just a plus if you do. If people want, I could whip up mini-bios.
At the end of the chapter I will explain how you could possibly spoil yourself for future plot points if you REALLY want to. If you’d rather not be spoiled I’ll clearly mark where the actual chapter ends so you can scroll past.
Enjoy!
Chapter Eight: Do What You have To Do
And fate has led you through it You do what you have to do And fate has led you through it You do what you have to do ... And I have the sense to recognize that I don’t know how to let you go
Every moment marked With apparitions of your soul
I’m ever swiftly moving Trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you I do what I have to do
But I have the sense to recognize That I don’t know how To let you go
I don’t know how To let you go-“Do What You have to Do”-Sarah McLachlan.
Daemon, no stranger to the nasty after-effects of the occasional enforced-nap, pushed aside the haziness and aching pain as he sat up and eyed his surroundings.
His gaze immediately fell on Ariel, who sat nearby on the armchair, with hands clenched, lips pursed, and eyes smoldering. He wondered what had upset her so, then remembered the slip-up he’d made just before he fai-collapsed in in an entirely dignified and manly fashion. ‘he**’s bells. This is not how I wanted things to go.’
He looked at her, saw her raise her eyebrow, and knew he had a only a moment to explain before he was a dead man. Metaphorically speaking. He hoped.
“I know you must be wondering how I know about you being a-”
“I was. But that’s not exactly at the top of the list. Not now.”
“What do you mean?” Daemon wondered what could have possibly put his inexplicable knowledge out of Ariel’s mind.
“Have you noticed anything different, about your voice? Or your face?”
“My face?” He felt a pit in his stomach.
“Look in the mirror.”
“Mirror?” that could only mean one thing...
‘Oh no. Oh no!’
Daemon looked, and sure enough, the glamour had faded, leaving his true self staring back it him. Only one word came to mind to define the situation, but he bit his tongue before uttering it.
Muttering vulgarities under one's breath didn't solve problems. Besides, would-be-fiancé or not, he was uncomfortable at the idea of exposing Ariel to the cruder elements of human nature. Not that he was any kind of expert, but he wasn't a saint. Actually, the more fervent religious types might find the 'abilities' he had acquired over the years down-right Satanic.
With that cheerful thought in mind, he decided it was time for a course of action he hadn't tried in years: he was going to explain the situation as honestly and straight-forwardly as he could. But first he had to figure out where to begin.
Urchin surfaced near an unfamiliar beach and looked around for his friends. He saw a dark-haired boy and a redheaded girl sitting idly by the shore. Going as fast as his fins could carry him, he was disappointed to find that the couple was not Ariel and Eric, as he'd hoped.
Up close it was obvious that both were in their early twenties, the boy actually sharing very few features with the human prince, in addition to having a patch on one eye, and the girl’s hair, while vibrant, was not quite the same shade as Ariel’s. Her eyes were the wrong color too.
"Hey there, merguy. What‘s sailin‘?” the man asked in an upbeat tone.
The girl chided, “Xander, you do realize that’s not an expression that people use.”
‘Xander‘ shrugged nonchalantly “Well he’s not exactly a people, so maybe he uses it.”
Urchin was a little offended, “I am too a people. I mean, a person.”
The girl tried to smooth things over, “I know. He meant a human-type person. Sorry, but where we’re from its pretty much people and demons. Not so much with the in-between and otherly. I’m Willow by the way and that’s Xander. And we’re actually here to help you out.”
Daemon sighed as he faced the mirror. The reflection that mimicked him was virtually identical to the prince who had followed Selene to find his love, save for a few minor differences. His hair was longer, and his skin lighter, but the most striking dissimilarities were the most subtle.
One or two fine lines tugged around his mouth and eyes, adding a certain maturity to his features. His eyes remained as Ariel had first seen them upon waking: ice blue and fathomless.
“You’re Eric.” The former mermaid stated, “My Eric.”
“I am Eric“ he said almost guiltily , but I’m not your Eric.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s all very complicated. I‘m trying to explain as clearly as I can.” Daemon wasn’t sure how tell her the things he knew. It was nearly unbelievable, even by their standards.
“Try harder.” She said firmly, but not unkindly.
“All right, I guess I deserved that. Say you have a coin and you flip it. What happens?”
“It comes up heads or tails.”
That was the answer he had expected, if not the right one. “What if I told you that wasn’t true. What if I told you every single time a coin was tossed it landed on heads AND tails AND sometimes other things happen too.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Yes and no. Lets say I flipped a coin here and now. Lets say it lands heads. Fine. That’s the way things turned out. But that’s not all. At the exact same time I flip the coin, there’s a world where a different me, whose life has been identical to mine up to that point, does the same thing, only for him it comes up tails. And for another me the coin miraculously lands on its edge, but then there’s ANOTHER me who accidentally flings it out the window and never finds out how it lands. You get the picture?”
“I think so.” Ariel was feeling a little out of her depth, but understood the general idea.
“Right. Only it’s not just coin tosses. Every action, every thought, every decision, doesn’t happen one way or another. They happen every way. And it affects everyone, so even though you might not do anything different, someone else could, and you’d still get a different result, a different life, a different world. This creates what human magic users call ‘alternate realities’ or ‘universes’.”
Eric sighed, the path had led to a rather non-descript clearing in the wood where...a group of people were having a picnic. All together there were two men and four women.
A brown-haired man with glasses and a bit of stubble was holding a waifish brunette in his arms, while the other was making conversation with a stunning girl whose raven tresses fell down her back. Two women, one blonde, the other sandy-haired, were playing chess.
It was the second woman he had noticed who noticed him first, “Hey guys, looks like Captain Heroic finally showed.”
“That explains how you could be Eric” Ariel allowed, convinced on that point at least, “But...”
“ ‘But’ what?”
“You look older. Older than my Eric, I mean.” He did. Not in a bad sense. He just didn’t look eighteen.
“I am. By about ten years.” Ten years. A lot could happen in ten years...
“So you’re not just from a different world, you’re from *the future* of a different world?” They were in deep water, that was for sure.
“You could say that. You’re really not supposed to do what I’ve done, but I didn’t have a choice."
"But how did you? I mean I didn't know you could do magic." Before this she had never seen him-her him (this was giving her a headache) so much as make a spark come out of his fingers.
“Your Eric can't. I couldn't until after...” he trailed off.
“After I died.” She finished for him.
After a beat Daemon replied, “After I lost you.”
Denny sat in meadow on the island, singing to himself as he made a chain of clovers, “All together, all as one, shift the tide and bring the sun. All together all as one, or darkness will swallow everyone. Sha-la-la, la-la-la-la, Sha-da-la-de la-de-la.”
He was so engrossed he didn‘t even notice when another person entered the meadow.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
He didn’t look up as he continued his chain, “I know. You didn’t want me to come, but I had to. It called to me.”
“For who?”
“Sebastian. At first he called me Daniel. I didn‘t know he’d ever met a human child.”
“It only happened once, and for us it was a long time ago. He wouldn’t have thought to tell you.”
The boy nodded understandingly but still remained fixated on his clover chain, “Will I get to meet him, if everything turns out like we hoped?”
“Who? Daniel?”
“No. I mean...my father.”
“If everything works out like we hoped, then yes. You’ll get to meet him.”
At these words Denny grinned up at Selene, who offered him a smile in return.
Daemon continued his story, “I deluded myself into thinking there was a way to fix things. Your father said it couldn’t be done, but I thought I knew better. I abdicated my throne took what I could in a rowboat, sailed up the coast, signed on to a ship as a crewman and kept my ears open for rumors of magic. A couple of months later I got lucky.”
“I found a woman who acted as a healer in her village. She told me I wasn’t a completely hopeless case, but that I’d probably never have much power. I learned what I could from her and she sent me on to someone she thought could would be able to continue better than she could. I spent the better part of a five years training with anyone who‘d take me but they all said the same thing: what had happened was irreversible. The only thing I might be able to do was stop the monster that had done it from hurting anyone else.”
“Did you?” Ariel asked.
Daemon laughed humorlessly “I failed completely. But later I learned that the creature wanted to enter other worlds to change their history to suit itself. I managed to follow it and along the way found someone who could help me. She‘s the one bringing your Eric to the island.”
“The creature. It came here.” Finally the whole thing was starting to make some sense.
“Yes. It needed you out of the way.”
“So you saved me.” Ariel concluded.
“For now.”
END OF CHAPTER: SPOILERS BELOW
If you want to be spoiled look up the rest of this chapter’s song lyrics. MAJOR hints of future plot points.
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Post by WickedElphie on Aug 15, 2006 0:26:08 GMT -5
Thanks! Glad to be back.
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Post by WickedElphie on Aug 14, 2006 18:48:42 GMT -5
I'm baaaaaack! I had a great time and should have a new chapter up in about a week.
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Post by WickedElphie on Jul 22, 2006 0:42:41 GMT -5
It'll be interesting that's for sure. I'm actually visiting my aunt and uncle to watch my little cousins while they're at work. But they're good kids so I don't expect TOO much trouble. LOl.
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